He's Not A Fighter? Oh Girl .... IDK

Like Kevin Hart said, women want a provider and a protector. They want someone to make them feel secure financially, emotionally and physically. It isn't a standard that is impossible to meet. It is, however, unrealistic at times. Being a protector physically is a trait not all men carry or can fulfill. Some men are just not able to be the superman or ninja assasin women want.

Some women are attracted to the "bad asses". The men who can kill with their bare hands or the men they can use as a threat when someone annoys them or threaten them. I have to admit it is a good feeling to know that if you cannont protect yourself, your boyfriend/husband can. On the other hand, it isn't right to deny anyone who cannot. If you meet a man who is everything you want and more emotionally and physically, are you going to by pass an opportunity at love because he isn't invincible?

Some women may say yes and some women may say no. It's okay to have standards ladies. When creating theses standards you need to keep in mind that men are human too. They have feelings, insecurities and fears. This goes for the guys as well. Most guys want your typically prissy, semi-emotional woman with perfect dimensions without realizing life happens; gaining weight happens and emotional volcanoes errupt.

Have you ever heard a woman say that she was attracted to a man because he is in tune with his emotions? "He's so sensative you guys. That's so hard to find". It is possible to be in tune with your feelings but remain masculent. I found it very attractive for Kevin Hart to admit his inaccpeabilities. He admits he can provide for his woman but he's not a fighter. It takes a real man to admit that.

Stop living by the fairytales fed to you and start creatin your own.

Last Time I Checked, I Can't Be Owned & YOU Didn't Birth Me

Have you ever came in contact with a friend/associate who was in a relationship where they either went every where with their significant other or they didn't go anywhere at all? I have. From the outside looking in it is understandable at times yet sad to watch. From what was the inside looking in (if that makes any sense), its pathetic, annoying, and life changing ( okay maybe I am being a lil dramatic but it is unbearable). 

Some people are so attached to each other that they block out the entire world. There can be various reasons behind that. Just to clarify, this post is not addressing those couples. This post is for the couple who answers "let me check with him/her first" or "I can't. She/he is not having it" when asked to attend a friendly outing or just a simple gathering at a friends house. This post is also for the boyfriends/girlfriends who feel betrayed every time their significant other doesn't want to spend every waken moment with them. This post is for the angry phone calls, fake break ups, ultimatums, and threats made by those who feel they control their significant others every move.

I know first hand that being in a relationship where your significant other feels as though they own you is not a healthy one. It not only causes internal conflict in the relationship, it causes conflict amongst those who are forced to witness it. Ladies and gentleman there is only one way to fix the problem at hand. It is a phrases that I use when ever it is called for: realize that your significant other is human. He was a man before he was your man and she was a woman before she was your woman. You cannot expect life to change because you've decided to make an appearance.

It is understandable that insecurities may take over or you may have a partner who has betrayed you in the past. Everyone has insecurities. It is how you deal with those insecurities that dictates the nature of your relationship. For example, your significant other may have planned to go to the club with their friends and your stuck at home doing nothing. There are various ways this situation can turn for the worst. Your job is not to put the car in drive and hit 100mph in the "relationship is over" lane. Temptation is a mother lover (ha ha) but it is up to your significant other to answer to it ( but then again if you don't trust them, why are you with them?).

Not understanding my message yet? Let's try to put it in dialogue.

(Feel free to scroll over if you do get my point)

Girl: (on the phone) Hey Babe. Me and the girls are going to get something to eat at Fridays then head to Roberta's party. Want me to cal you before I leave to the party?

Boy: Are there going to be guys at this party? Why you cant just eat McDonalds and stay home? You follow them everywhere

Girl: Okay. (Sigh) First off I'm a woman with my own mind (notice the conflict arising people) and secondly I barely go out. It's her birthday. What kind of friend would miss that?

Boy: Well, if there's boys there you cant go. What kind of girlfriend leaves her man at home? I'm not going out so you shouldn't either.

Girl: Babe you sound ridiculous. Maria isn't gay. She's going to have the whole Indiana Pacers and they fathers there. lol

Boy: All you do is run the street. You want to go with them? Stay with them. You probably want those guys anyway. It's over

NOW LOOK! I don't know about you guys but I refuse to have a guy dictate my every move and use my heart as a wild card to make me do what it is he wants me to do. Yes, a relationship no longer means you are the only one in the picture but it doesn't mean you have to live in someone else's frame. Im tired of seeing girls on a leash and men without balls (excuse my language). Your name is not on my birth certificate and I cannot be bought. You have to  accept that with our unity in this relationship my individuality still remains.

I've lost friends who follow where ever there sexual fantasies and love struck minds lead them. I refuse to loose myself. 

So, with that being said Venus and Mars, do you feel the same? Is there a middle or a balance that can be made in a relationship where you can't loose yourself to gain someones love? Do we have to give up? I've heard married people say when your'e married, your'e life is over. Someone please tell me why!

Child Support: A Bitter Women's Weapon?

Some men feel that the Family Court system is designed in favor of women.  Women have been accused of using their ability to give birth to trap men or lead them to do as they pleased. On the contrary, men do the same. YES THEY DO SO FIX YOUR FACE!

Both men and women know whether or not their partner's character would be able to deny their own flesh and blood or reject it. Women use this small yet vital information to force a man into a relationship. If he refuses, BOOM,"Hey Mrs.Judge Who Is Going To Force Him To Pay Up And Deal With Me". On the other hand, men use this information to force a female to deal with him. Either way, I do not condone the birth of a child being used for personal gain. Having a child is a beautiful thing. A gift that not all human beings are able to obtain. Therefore, why abuse that gift for revenge or to complicate someone's life?

She Wants Baby, He Doesn't. Should He Pay?

My Mother: "Should a man have to pay child support if he tells the woman to have an abortion and she refuses?"

Me:" Sigh. I'm going to post this on my blog Ma. When you read it, you'll get your answer. Smh"

Silly me has a Facebook to which my mother has access to. Like every other week, I promoted this very blog; asking my readers for suggestions for their suggestions matter. My mother was the first to respond -_-. Granted I was skeptical about the topic but once I savored the question I realized it is valid. Yes, he made his bed so he should lie in it (devil's advocate says...) BUT should a man be forced to pay child support to a women who was very much informed the child was not wanted. I am all for taking responsibility for you actions but if the female in the situations solution to said "problem" is to keep and his is to abort, should their lives take the road of their after-math decision? 

The child did not lay in that bed nor did he/she have unprotected sex and whisper in your ear when the results came back; "keep me".

There are some dead beat dads in the world who refuse to take care of their children.  How can one define what that is? Some can say a man that doesn't provide or nurture for their children or a combination of both. Other's define it as simple as a boy refusing to become a man. I define it through both terms because it takes more then money to raise a child.TAKE NOTES. My mother brought to my attention that some men, perhaps aren't dead beats at all. They made their choice. They spoke on how they felt on the matter yet the mother proceeded to have the unwanted child. If a man tells you he doesn't want to have a child and that he is not ready for fatherhood, there is no lines in between that says maybe in nine months, I will feel differently. If a man tells you he does NOT want anything to do with you or that baby, who are you to force him? This is (kind of) all your fault. You knew that you cannot raise the child on your own yet nine months later you give birth to a hungry, cold and homeless child. 

Mother's and father's are not born. You cannot pick up "Parenting For Dummies" and think your problems are solved. You cannot wait till the baby is here to get your life together nor can you force anyone to be your knight and shinning armor. You cannont force anyone to be a parent. Once again the question stills tands: Should a man have to pay child support if he tells the woman to have an abortion and she refuses? Well in today's news, a man went to jail charged with murderer in the second degree for forcing his woman to do so.

I have no answer. Do you? 

 

I Am Not A Mind Reader. SPEAK UP !

Joey M.:" Women... I am not a mind reader..... SPEAK UP."

Me: "Those who speak their mind can be lying too but I agree Joey =). Women complain that their standard, wants & needs aren't met yet they never express them."

It may seem as though my post are becoming repetitive but for those who know me personally, know that I take a topic and look at it from all different angles. The particular angle I’m going for now is women and men not stating what makes them happy or sad, the do's and don'ts, expectations and what they feel a good relationship consist of. This is a different angle based on the focus "The Reason Why You're Single".

Personal experiences taught me that I cannot hold a person responsible for not fulfilling my needs and wants, if those needs and wants were not established. You cannot expect a person to automatically know what you are feeling or the road you wish to take in the relationship. This rule applies beyond the romantic scene. It can be applied with family and friends as well. People complain that their relationships are not working out because their significant other cannot please them mentally or sexually. How many of you are taking the time out to acknowledge the problem and attempt to solve it?

We are all human. With that being said our expectations evolve over time. In order to be in a healthy relationship you need to know your partner. Yes, action speaks louder than words. However, your actions are defined by their perception. You may think the silent treatment will force your partner to ask you what is wrong so that you and he/she can discuss the issue at hand BUT your partner could interpret that as you not being in the mood for conversation so they give you your space.

SPEAK UP! I AM NOT A MIND READER. How am I going to know something’s wrong if you don't tell me? How am I going to know you’re interested in taking this friendship farther if you do not tell me? It's impossible. If you really want to be satisfied in life, you need to verbalize. Communication is key. If you don't communicate you’re going to be lonely, unsatisfied, and disappointed..... With yourself!

Send Me A Picture Of That Booty !

The class that made this blog a requirement, is the same class I have a research paper due in (Hey Prof.Maurer). Guess what my topic is. SEXTING! O yes. I am doing a paper on sexting and having a blast doing so but it's not because of participation so don't jump to conclusions. For those who are ignorant on the subject (which I highly doubt), sexting is the combination of the words "text" and "sex". It is when you send sexually suggested or explicit videos or images via electronic devices.

Ever had someone send you a pick of their body parts or a message of what they want you to do to them? Stop blushing this is a serious matter lol. Well, this is a form of sexting. During my research, I've found sexting is highly popular in the adolescent world. Teenagers are using sexting to fulfill their sexual fantasies or to get revenge. It's a controversial topic that "adults" seem to be all confused and mad about ,but to others, "What I do with my phone is my business" is the response I tend to get.

Well, sexting is illegal. Wait! Wait! RELAX! Allow me to explain. Sexting is considered illegal if the video or photo contains a minor. It is then considered the distribution or possession of child pornography. Therefore, if your seven-teen year old girl friend sends your eight-teen year old self a picture of her bare chest, you are now the holder of child pornography and she is the distributor. You can now face felony charges, fines, and be registered as a sex offender.

This is outrageous. I understand if the sext messages are being used against you but then again who told you to send those messages. People tend to put themselves in predicaments where they are harmed but never take responcibility for their actions. Sexting can aid in the spice of a relationship or the demise of a career. It goes hand in hand but to punish minors (most don't even know its illegal) for sending voluntary pictures is horrible.

This scared the crap out of me. You know why? Cause I've been sexted (lmbo hahahahaha). So now if I’m being sexted (I'm really dying laughing right now. This is hilarious), which by the way I don't enjoy -_-, I have to make sure I delete it, especially if the person is not eight-teen or older. Now my best friend Jennifer and Cassandra can't see the fool that showed me his dingdong with his dirty draws in the background. How are we supposed to laugh as best friends and share those moments, with all this anti-sexting people walking around? Huh? (By the way, I'm joking. It makes the blog more interesting if I throw a little humor in it. Agree?)

So Venus, or Mars, what is your take on sexting and the laws that follow it? Do you feel it's too drastic? Who should be blamed, if any blame should be placed?

Non-Commited Committed Relationships

"I don't do girlfriends but I'm only going to be talking to you and your'e only going to be talking to me."

"It is what it is. We don't have to put a label on it. (but I'm single)"

"He's not my man. (giggles) We just talk."

"I'm not looking for something serious feel me? I just wanna have fun."

 

Ever heard of an open relationship or a friend with benefits? If so, you should know exactly what a non-commited committed relationship is. Just to clarify, a non-commited committed relationship is a relationship where two people agree to be monogamous without stating that the two are in fact in a(n) [exclusive] relationship. Behind closed doors, you guys are the happiest couple and in public your'e just friends. Your not allowed to have these intimate moments with no one else but you guy's aren't boyfriend and girlfriend or girlfriend and girlfriend etc. etc.

In the beginning this may seem like the best of both worlds because your'e never lonely but your'e not tied down. However, conflict arises as many times as you smile. So much can be lost and won during these times. It cause a feeling of never being lonely yet a sence of confusion, security behind doors that build insecurities down the line. I'm not bashing the whole non-commited committed relationship thing but how many of us can really handle it? I was told women can't handle it worth crap but some men can't either. No matter what the case is, there comes a time where all the male ego disappears, all the tough shell begins to soften, and real emotions surface.

Some people don't even know there in these relationships and some are in them for the rest of their lives. Do real relationships even exist anymore? Has marriage become a myth? Is it wrong to want a husband and not a baby daddy or a best friend who is your lover instead of a certified booty-call? Is it wrong to want to be loved outside and inside or am I reading too deep into this? (It is 5am and im just typing cause im too lazy to put my laptop back where it belongs. Ugh!)

I understand you have needs. I understand you don't want a relationship but be careful what you wish for.  Don't lead people on, that's just WACK. If your'e swag was up there you can be real and still get where and with who you want. I would give you a guideline on how to have a successful non-committed committed relationship but i think "Oh My, It's BootyCall Time" is suffice for now. 

Like I said it's 5am people so bare with me. What's your take on the subject?